Cranky Lungs

ugh I feel like crap.

Symptoms:
*heavy lung feel- like i breathed in water by accident
*fatigue
*dizzy

Um remedies I am trying:
* double dose of airborne
* tylenol cold and sinus (the good shit)
* expired vicks vapor rub everywhere
*tea
*japanese snack food
*fresh air

i dont think its working maybe i should shower

Bridal Shower

Ok just got back from the first bridal shower that i've ever attended and proceeded to alienate myself typical creepy snake style.

List of creepy things I did:
-insisted on sitting in the furthest corner of the room and refused to give it up so friends could sit next to each other
- picked at my nails with the table confetti
- picked at my teeth with the table confetti
- told someone the table confetti looked like a dude making a puppet out of a woman's severed head
-insulted the beverages and told the bar tender i was dying of thirst
- cheated at the game that lets you take home the center piece
-took home 2 other people's favors plus mine so i'd have a set
- ate part of the favor- before dinner
- ripped a roll in half and put the other back (after picking at myself with the table confetti)
- wore all black
- loudly announced that the vibrator they chose as a gift was sucky with batteries
- announced that in front of my mom
-traded pieces of entree behind someone's back
- wore dark sunglasses inside
- refused to converse
- stole someone's napkin
- threw table confetti in the carafe of water
- put table confetti inside of the pen they were using to write addresses
-then stole the pen
- left after every meal course to have a cigarette
- didnt say hello to the bride's mom

yay for being socially awkward!

moral: I was bored as fuck for a few hours but made out like a bandit

Saving the World

I got no sleep. Well, fell asleep at work, went home and knit baby socks till 6:49 am. Then my tv decided to creep into my dreams and wake me up at 7:15am. Can't remember what it was about- not nearly as graphic as the dream I had earlier this week about Brittney Spears stealing my ovaries. Then I get a call from a friend who had a flat tire at 8:30am- thought he said he was in a fight and couldn't move- so I stumbled out of my house (nearly hallucinating ) to save the kids and get them to school! Totally forgot to put my cape on. Later on today I told some lady while waiting to get our cars inspected that 98% of people in the world are selfish and suck. I hope that made her feel better. Found out the people who changed my tires broke my tire sensors and now i need new ones.

moral of today: people suck and save the kids!